What makes a good parent?
A great parent is someone who strives to make choices in the best interest of the kid.
What makes a fantastic parent isn't just defined by the parent 's actions, but additionally the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not need to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. No child is ideal either … keeping this in mind is important when we set our expectations.
Successful parenting is not about achieving perfection. Though it doesn't mean that we shouldn't work towards that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then our children second. We function as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
You'll be a much better parent, in case you follow these 10 tricks for parenting tips, and you will stay away from bad parenting.
Not all of them happen to be that simple.
It is improbable that any person can do them all the time.
Nevertheless, even in case you only do part of these tips in this parenting guide, you will be moving in the right direction if you continue working on them.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell your child what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part since we are able to learn by imitation. We're programmed to imitate others' actions, comprehend them, and incorporate them into our own. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
So, be the person you would like the child of yours to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child's emotion - as well as your kid will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show Through ACTION
Show your love.
There is simply no such thing as loving the child of yours a lot of. Loving them cannot spoil them.
Just what you decide to do (or give) in the name of love can - things as material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over protection. When these things are given in place of real love, that is when you'll have a spoiled child.
To love the child of yours can be as simple as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also listening to your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love can trigger the release of feel good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals can provide us a deep feeling of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the child, will acquire resilience and never to point out a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Infants are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive the actions of ours, shape our personalities, and basically determine who we're. They are "sculpted", strengthened, and created through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, particularly in the beginning years. They will then be equipped to experience positive experiences themselves and also offer them to others.
But if you give your child negative experiences, they will not have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Use a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce excellent neural connections in your child's brain and create the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems difficult to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior problems. But it's possible by using positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a great parent means you need to teach the child of yours the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being constant will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be kind and firm when you establish rules and implement them. Focus on the reason for the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be an opportunity for them to find out for the future in a good way, rather than to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Let the child of yours realize that you'll always be there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to their needs. Support and accept your child as a person. Be a safe and warm place for your child to explore from and return to.
Kids raised by parents that are consistently responsive tend to have better psychological regulation development, interpersonal skills development, and mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us already know the importance of communication. Talk to the child of yours as well as listen to them carefully. By keeping an open line of communication, you'll have a better relationship with the child of yours as well as your kid may come to you when there's a problem.
But there's another reason for communication. You help your child integrate different parts of their brain, a crucial process in a kid's development.
Integration is akin to the body of ours, in which various organs should coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body. When different parts of the brain are integrated, they are able to work harmoniously as an entire, meaning less tantrums, more good behavior, more empathy, and better mental well-being.
To accomplish that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to explain what happened and the way they felt developing attuned communication.
You do not need to provide solutions. You do not need to have all of the answers to be a good parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words will help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
Many of us wish to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had a good upbringing and a thankful childhood may want to alter some aspects of the way they had been brought up.
But really often, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak the same as our own parents did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is an action towards understanding the reason we parent the way we do. Make note of things you'd like to change and think of how you would get it done differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be mindful and change the behavior of yours the next time those issues come up.
Do not quit if you don't succeed in the beginning. It will take practice, lots of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Pay attention to Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents require relief too.
Give consideration to your own well being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including the own needs of yours or the overall health of your marriage are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. If you do not pay attention to them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Take time to enhance the relationship of yours with your spouse.
Stressed-out parents tend to be more prone to fighting. Do not be afraid to request parenting help. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the brain.
How parents take care of the child of theirs mentally and physically will make an impact in their parenting and family life. In case these two areas fail, your child is going to suffer, too.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
No doubt, for some parents, spanking can result in short term compliance which sometimes is a much needed relief for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method does not teach the child right from wrong. It simply teaches the child to fear external consequences. The kid is then motivated to stay away from getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to the child that he/she can resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or hit is more vulnerable to fighting with other children. They are much more apt to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to resolve disputes.
Later in life, they're additionally more likely to lead to oppositional behavior and delinquency, worse parent child human relationships, mental health issues, and domestic violence victims or abusers.
You will find an assortment of better alternatives to discipline that have been shown to be much more effective, like good discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is your goal in increasing a kid?
When you are like the majority of parents, you want your child to do well in school, be prosperous, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy positive relationships with you and others, be caring and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and also satisfying life.
Though just how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
When you are like the majority of parents, you most likely spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole-Brain child, instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just attempting to survive!
To not allow the survival mode dominate the life of yours, the next time you're feeling frustrated or angry, step back. Consider what frustration and anger can do for you or the child of yours.
Rather, look for ways to turn every negative experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be transformed into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you concentrate on teaching your child, not trying to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is taking advantage of what's already known by scientists.
Parenting is one of the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting strategies, traditions, or practices have been scientifically https://parentinghowto.com/ researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for increasing a kid and information that are supported by science, here's one of my favorite science based parenting guides, The Science of Parenting.
Using scientific knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all approach. Every child differs. Quite possibly within the best parenting style, there can be a variety of effective parenting practices you could choose according to your child's temperament.
A good example is employing spanking to discipline. There are many better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You are able to choose a non-punitive discipline method that actually works ideal for your child.
Naturally, you can also decide to use "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also might still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has shown us that kids with different temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those people who are more susceptible to parenting quality is going to have better outcomes under great parenting but worse outcomes under poor parenting.
Those who are much less susceptible may "turn out fine" regardless of how tough their parents treat them. Though it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They could thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice may not be the simplest way to parent. It may require much more work on your part in the short term but can help you save lots of time and agony in the long term.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The good thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it is additionally really rewarding. The bad part is the rewards typically come later than the hard work. But in case we try our best today, we will ultimately reap the rewards and have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!