What makes a great parent?
A great parent is someone who strives to make choices in the most effective interest of the child.
What makes a fantastic parent isn't just defined by the parent 's actions, but additionally the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not have to be ideal. No one is perfect. No kid is perfect either … keeping this in your mind is important when we set the expectations of ours.
Successful parenting isn't about achieving perfection. But it does not mean that we should not work towards that goal. Set very high standards for ourselves first and then the children of ours second. We function as important role models for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
Here are ten tips that will help you be an even better parent, learn good parenting skills, and avoid bad parenting.
They are not all that simple or fast.
And most likely nobody is capable of doing them constantly.
Although you might not absolutely do all of these things, however, the tips in this parenting guide can help you move in the right direction.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Don't just tell your child what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part since we are able to learn by imitation. We're programmed to imitate others' actions, comprehend them, and integrate them in to our own. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully.
So, be the individual you would like the child of yours to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child's emotion - and your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Show your love.
There is no such thing as loving your child too much. Loving them can't spoil them.
Just what you decide to do (or give) in the name of love can - things as material indulgence, low expectation, leniency, and over protection. When these items are provided in place of real love, that's when you will have a spoiled kid.
Loving your child can be as easy as offering them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and listening to your kid's problems seriously.
Showing these actions of love can trigger the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals can bring us a full sense of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the child, will acquire resilience and also not to point out a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Babies are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with relatively few connections. These connections create the thoughts of ours, drive the actions of ours, shape our personalities, and basically determine who we're. They are created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give your child positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They'll then be able to experience positive experiences themselves and also provide them to others.
But if you give the child of yours negative experiences, they won't have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with your child. Allow them to have good attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve a problem together with an optimistic attitude.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections into your child's brain and create the memories of you your child carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems difficult to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior problems. But it's possible by utilizing positive discipline and avoiding harsh discipline.
Being a great parent means you need to teach your child the morals of what's right and what is wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to good discipline. Be firm and kind when you set rules and implement them. Focus on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And allow it to be a chance for them to learn for the future in a good way, instead of to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Let the child of yours realize that you'll always be there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to their needs. Support and accept your child as a person. Be a safe and warm place for your child to explore from and return to.
Children raised by parents that are constantly responsive tend to have better emotional regulation development, interpersonal skills development, along with emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with YOUR CHILD And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Most of us already know the importance of communication. Talk to the child of yours as well as listen to them thoroughly. By keeping an open line of communication, you'll have a better relationship with your child as well as your kid may come for you when there is an issue.
But there's another reason for communication. You help your child integrate different parts of their brain, a critical process in a child's development.
Integration is similar to our body, in which different organs must coordinate and work together to maintain a trully healthy body. When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, more good behavior, more empathy, and better mental well-being.
To do that, conversation through troubling experiences. Ask the child of yours to explain what happened and the way they felt developing attuned communication.
You do not have to provide solutions. You don't have to have all of the answers to become an excellent parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words will help them make sense of their experiences and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
A lot of us wish to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had a good upbringing and a thankful childhood might wish to change some elements of the way they were brought up.
But very frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak the same as our own parents did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is an action towards understanding the reason we parent the way we do. Make note of things you'd like changing and think of just how you'd do it differently in a genuine scenario. Try to be mindful and change the behavior of yours next time those issues come up.
Don't quit in case you don't succeed in the beginning. It will take practice, lots of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing strategies.
#7: Pay attention to Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents require relief also.
Pay attention to your own well being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as the own needs of yours or the health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. When you don't take note of them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Take time to enhance the relationship of yours with your spouse.
Stressed-out parents tend to be more prone to fighting. Do not be afraid to request parenting help. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the brain.
How parents take care of the child of theirs mentally and physically will make an impact in their parenting and family life. In case these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
No doubt, for some parents, spanking is able to bring about short term compliance which sometimes is a much needed help for the parents.
However, this method does not teach the child right from wrong. It only teaches the kid to fear external consequences. The child is then motivated to avoid getting caught with inappropriate behavior.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to the child that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or hit is more vulnerable to fighting with other children. They are much more apt to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to resolve disputes.
Later in life, they're additionally more likely to lead to delinquency and oppositional behavior, worse parent child human relationships, mental health issues, and domestic violence victims or even abusers.
You will find an assortment of better alternatives to discipline which have been shown to be much more effective, such as positive discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement https://parentinghowto.com/ and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What's the goal of yours in raising a child?
If you're like the majority of parents, you would like the child of yours to excel in school, be productive, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy positive relationships with you and others, be caring and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and also satisfying life.
Though just how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
When you are like the majority of parents, you most likely spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole-Brain child, rather than helping your kid thrive, spent most of time simply attempting to survive!
To not allow the survival mode dominate the life of yours, the next time you're feeling frustrated or angry, step back. Consider what frustration and anger can do for you or the child of yours.
Rather, find ways to turn every negative experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums could be transformed into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you focus on teaching your child, not trying to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I do not mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is taking advantage of what's already known by scientists.
Parenting is among the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting strategies, practices, or traditions have been scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For best parenting advice for raising a child and info which are backed by science, here is among my personal favorite science based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Using medical knowledge is of course not a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every kid differs. Even within the very best parenting style, there are able to be many different effective parenting methods you can choose according to your child's temperament.
A very good example is employing spanking to discipline. There are numerous better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You can choose a non punitive discipline method that actually works best for the child of yours.
Of course, you can additionally choose to utilize "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and also may nonetheless get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that kids with different temperaments respond to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality is going to have better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those who are much less prone may "turn out fine" no matter how strong their parents treat them. But it does not mean those practices are good. These children are simply lucky. They can thrive despite bad parenting, not due to it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices if you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting cannot be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice might not be the simplest way to parent. It might require more work on the part of yours in the short term but can help you save lots of time and agony in the long term.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it's also really rewarding. The bad part is the rewards usually come later than the hard work. But if we try our best today, we will eventually reap the rewards and also have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!